About Your Pride and My Prejudice

Chapter 40: The Night that Covers the Waiting and Sleeps

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“I wish time would stop like this.”

“I know…”

We lied down holding hands tightly and talked without realizing the passage of time.

When I was talking, Viola held my hand tight, and when she was talking, I sometimes squeezed it too, but we never let go.

Strength entered my hand holding her hand, for example, when Viola lived in Piccom and told me that she wanted to return to the capital, and there were many days when she couldn’t stand it.

“Marty is really nice.
Just like an angel.”

It was time to talk about Jacob and Anne’s son, Marty.

“You have no idea how amazing he is, Melissa.
I’m really surprised every time I see him.
He’s not even my child, but I have a feeling that I and that child are connected by fate.
Have you ever felt this way, Mel?”

“…….”

“No?  Because there are no children around you.
Of course, I’ve never experienced anything like this before, but the only thing I can say is that I’m amazed…….
Sometimes I’m touched just by Marty’s existence.
There are times when I cry just looking at him smile.”

Viola sometimes sniffled as if it was emotional just to think of the child, and I, holding her hand, was also moved a little.

I don’t have a hobby of pouring cold water on a beautiful story, but I thought I had to say something.  Especially since she was my one and only best friend— Viola.

“Are you sure he’s Jacob’s child, Viola? I heard that the child looked completely like that woman named Anne.”

“Marty……”

“Every time I see him, I see my husband’s ex-lover……… Isn’t it terrible to think of a shameless woman who disappeared after leaving the child who may be someone else’s child?”

“…….”

“Viola.
I don’t like that you’re just accepting this situation or ignoring it.….”

Did I push her too hard? Viola was silent for a moment.
She didn’t let go of my hand, but tossed and turned her body a little and lied down straight.

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“Melissa.”

As I, too, turned and faced the ceiling, I heard Viola’s voice over the rustling of the blankets.

“I’m not giving up and accepting it helplessly.
The feeling of blaming Jacob has long since disappeared.  I’m serious.”

“But that kid…….”

“Even if Marty isn’t Jacob’s son, I don’t think I could have loved Jacob this much if he was a man who turned a blind eye to a child who was sent to him without other options to rely on.”

The words somehow made my heart ache.
It was upsetting not to complain once that she was in a situation where she had to take care of a strange child as soon as she got married at the age of only twenty and was only saying beautiful things rather than getting angry.

“……I’m rather grateful to him that he had decided to take care of Marty.”

But at her next words, I was speechless.

“You don’t even know how difficult it must be to live in a foreign country, unfamiliar to me, who has lived in the capital all my life, right? Even though I love Jacob sincerely…… There are many times when I suddenly feel like I have lost my whole life.”

“Viola…”

“Whenever I feel that, Marty saves me.”

It was a complicated feeling.
To be honest, I didn’t understand it well.
I’m not saying Viola is wrong, it’s that I would never be like that.

But at the same time, there was a feeling of respect for Viola.
In the meantime, there have been countless times when I envied Viola who was born with bright energy and confidence that I couldn’t have no matter how hard I tried, but it was the first time I felt this way.

I thought the reason she changed was because she got married, but that’s not the only reason.

Compared to a few months ago, Viola has become a wiser, deeper person—so much so, it was enough to believe that she was a different person.
It’s not that she was a shallow person before, or that just because she’s different doesn’t mean our relationship will change…..

“……It was very difficult.”

I cried for no reason.
The nights of her troubles and sorrows she had to pass through until she could speak calmly like this seemed to flow into me through the hands she held.
There must have been nothing that wasn’t harsh after her marriage.

“Nothing is fixed in life, Viola.”

“Yes.”

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“So I don’t think there is an answer.  We may still be young to talk about this, but…….”

Me and Viola were hugging tightly and comforting each other.

“No matter what situation you’re in, make sure you make a choice that makes you happy.
Don’t worry about anything else…….
I believe that will be the closest to the answer.”

Viola let out a small sniffle.

“I love you so much, Melissa.”

“Me, too.
Viola.”

We cared about each other just like when we were girls.
There is nothing in the world that doesn’t change, but my sincerity for Viola’s happiness didn’t seem to change.
It was a fairy tale-like night.

Viola, exhausted from coming a long way from Piccom and shedding tears, was now breathing evenly as if to listen to my story.
I didn’t want to turn this warm air into anxiety.

I talked about months of immersion in writing, like a person born for novels, safely submitting it to the academy, and making a promise to my mother.
Viola was both curious and resentful, while listening to my story seriously.

As the most enthusiastic supporter of my dreams, she protested about my mother’s position on my writing.
In addition, life as a married woman, living as a female writer in the kingdom, and going to the kingdom of Lunoa, there were many stories about the same topic.

It was a natural step for the topic of conversation to shift to Tobias Miller.

Viola said confidently that my future would be happy after marrying him.
She had never even met him, but she was already convinced when I told her about his consideration, kindness, and his appreciation of my dream.

Moreover, I also noted the fact that Toby was selected as Leopold’s scholarship student and left for Lunoa.

“If you get married anyway, you have to leave home.
It would be great for you if you could settle in Lunoa.”

So, although Toby might be staying in the Principality for a few years, it’s a different story about whether or not this opportunity had given him a clear foundation to establish himself there.

It felt like we hadn’t seen each other for a long time.  I can’t believe I forgot that Viola is an ardent devotee of love.
I answered in a dead voice.

“He might change his mind.
I don’t know when he’ll come back to Sourne…….
What if Toby changes his mind…….”

“Mel.”

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Viola, who squirmed in my arms, was as small as a young animal, but her voice was quite solemn.

“Let’s not miss the precious present by worrying about things that never happened.  That is stupid.”

“You’re right.
I don’t know why I’m so silly.”

“I’m not saying you’re silly.….
You just think too much.”

Strength suddenly entered Viola’s hand that grabbed my hand.

“I like you who is immersed in thoughts, but I want your happiness more than anything else.”

“…….”

I advised her to make a choice that would make her happy every moment, and she told me not to get caught up in worrying too much.  Because that’s the way to be happy.

This was advice that was possible because we knew and valued each other well.
As soon as I answered yes with an overwhelming heart, Viola began to let out a quiet breathing sound as if she was going to sleep at any moment.
She seems to be at peace now.

This is why I couldn’t talk about the stalker.
How could I tell her that he came to the house,  when I was alone, or that he bought the house across the street?

It was partly because I couldn’t remember how far we had been talking about the stalker, but most of all, I didn’t want Viola to continue to dwell on my worries after returning to Piccom.

“……It means that the stalker is losing interest in me, he is less and less revealing his existence.
I haven’t even seen him recently.”

“Really?”

There is still no proper solution, but this is my problem.
I can’t put a burden on her in the name of a friend, who is struggling to adapt to a new life.

Viola let out a response that was close to a mumble with a slow yawn.

“You did a great job, Mel…….
Now, everything…… It’ll be okay.”

I whispered low to the viola who fell asleep with the words. Yeah, I hope so, too.

I had no idea it would be all for naught.

* * *

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It was a sunny day.
After lunch, I suddenly thought I wanted to go out.
It’s been a very long time.

As always, there were no special plans.
I just wanted to walk as I wanted.
When I reached the heart of the city while walking, I wanted to go straight to the bookstore and be buried in the smell of books.
I wanted to read a new novel and forget the time.

Although my pocket money has decreased recently, I have saved up a lot of money in my own way thanks to not having to spend for a while.
So, if I was lucky enough to find a book I liked, I wanted to buy it and hold it in my arms and go to Antris.

I never said it out loud, but I actually missed everything about Antris.
The orderly commotion there, the gentle piano playing, a cup of carefully brewed coffee, and the polite response of the server.

“Do you want me to put it in? Miss?”

It was purely because of my picky taste that I was able to choose only one book, even after wandering around the old bookshelves of the bookstore for a long time.
Obviously, even if I had enough money to buy two or three books of poetry.

“No, I’ll just carry it with me.”

I smiled lightly and accepted the book that was given to me.

When I left the bookstore, the sun was already setting.
Being taken away by the brilliant sunset that seemed to be like melted gold, I walked blankly, raising my head toward the sky.

I can’t believe it’s already this late.
If I stop by Antris, I won’t be able to reach on time for dinner, so what should I do?

Then, I bumped into someone without seeing that someone was approaching me.

“Ah…..!”

The novel, which was held in his arms, plunged over the cold stone road with a fluttering sound.
The title, gilded over the dark brown leather cover, glistened in the vivid sunset light.

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I was so startled that I bowed my head.
All I thought was to hurry and pick up the book, bow, and leave.

But a long hand wearing black gloves grabbed it before I could.
My gaze slowly followed it, thinking that the slowly lifting hand was beautiful.

And soon I held my breath.

He smiled like a painting with his fluttering red hair.

“Hello.”