Cry, Even Better if you Beg

g.com_bird-png_13492-300×186.png ” class= ”img-responsive ”>Matthias let out a satisfied sigh, plopping right next to Leyla’s limp form on her bed as they both heaved their breaths after another satisfactory round.
Silence reigned between them, with Matthias staring up at the wall in contentment, and Leyla resolutely looking at the wall beside her, trying to make herself as small as possible.

He looked over at Leyla’s sweaty back, locks of her hair plastered behind her, and casually ran his fingers up her spine.
She shuddered beneath his touch, yet refused to look at him.
Matthias couldn’t help but smile despondently to himself.

He’d never felt such a rush of emotions before.
It confused him greatly, driving himself mad as to why it had to be Leyla, but it was.
Only she could invoke such confusing emotions in him, and yet she kept pulling away from him just when he thought they made great progress in their relationship.

The light in her room basked them both in a soft orange glow, and Matthias reached out for her once more, urging her to turn back to him.
He heard her sigh upon his touch, before she finally turned back to him. 

He cupped her cheeks immediately, and began wiping the sweat off her face with gentle hands, seeing the way her eyes were firmly shut, her breathing hitching with every caress.

Leyla wanted to push him away from her, but she was tired of fighting tonight.
Her heart was still reeling with pain in her heart, but mostly numbed by her body’s own pain from straining herself in their intercourse.
She can’t even open her eyes to look at him.

She was just so exhausted.

The longer the silence between them stayed, the more relaxed Matthias felt in her room.
Once he was certain she was half-asleep, he pulled her into her arms, tucking her head onto the crook of his neck, and planting soft kisses on her forehead.

Leyla faintly thanked whichever deity was watching over that there would be no more rounds tonight, for she was already spent.

Matthias kept planting kisses all over her face.
On her cheeks, the tip of her nose, behind her closed eyelids, and back on her forehead.
He was so drunk in endorphins, he couldn’t find it in himself to stop these soft affections he gave her.

Leyla’s brows frowned, flinching her face away every now and then, her cute button nose wrinkling when he’d smoothen it out with another kiss again. 

“Stop it.” she grumbled drowsily, with her eyes still closed. 

“Say it again, Leyla…” He requested once more..

“Huh?” Leyla groggily asked, burying her face into his chest, muffling her voice.

“Say that you love me again.” He reiterated, “If you say that, I swear to give you everything you want.”

Leyla laughed mirthlessly at his false words.
Despite how heavy her eyes felt, she mustered up the strength to look him in the eyes. 

And just like that, the pain in her body diminished, and the one in her heart blooming in an unstoppable force once more. 

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Leyla brought a hand up to cover her eyes, rolling off of his chest as she lay on her back beside him, and proceeded to laugh at what a mess her life had gotten to be! She kept chuckling in that sad manner, until tears began leaking out her eyes…

“Shh, don’t cry, Leyla,” Matthias cooed, softly pulling her arm away from her eyes to dab then gently with a cloth.
He proceeded to plant more kisses on her eyelids, to which she finally looked him in the eye, the laughter finally dying down…

“This is so weird.” She couldn’t help but point out as she stared into his eyes.
They almost looked…

‘Regretful…’ Leyla thought before shaking it away.
He wasn’t one who knew the meaning of that word.
For that word to even have meaning, one had to possess a warm heart, but Matthias’ heart was stone cold.

“What’s so weird?” Matthias asked softly.

“You.” She sighed out, staring up at the ceiling blankly, “You’ve gotten weird lately.”

“Why?”

“Because you keep acting like this.”

“Like how?”

“Like you’re so concerned about me.” Leyla sighed out, looking back at him, “Didn’t you say you liked seeing me cry?”

Matthias hummed, eyes still focused on her tears, but feeling no satisfaction at the sight of it.
He then looked back at Leyla in the eye, propping himself up with one hand to wipe her tears away better.

“Just don’t cry Leyla,” he murmured, giving her an encouraging smile, “Smile for me instead.”

Leyla raised a brow at him.

“Do you want me to smile for you now?”

“Perhaps.”

A few beats of silence, before Leyla’s face turned blank, still crying as she met his gaze. 

“Then I guess you would never see me smile again.” She softly declared, face scrunching up as she finally sobbed her heart out in front of him.
Matthias watched her in shocked silence, before he laughed to himself at her stubbornness…

Strangely, his heart began to feel hollow.

Leyla cried for the innocence she lost.
She cried for her freedom being taken away.
She cried for being involved with such a cruel man.
She cried for having to hurt the people she loved in the world. 

He was like a barbed wire, wrapped around her.
The longer she struggled against him, the more she was only harming herself.

She was so, so tired of it all, and couldn’t help but sink into his warmth because it was all she could have.
But most of all, she was crying because the cruel man she got involved with, was the first one to give her such warmth before…

‘I’m so disgusting!’ Leyla screamed in her mind as she huddled closer to him, seeking out the comfort only he could give her, ‘How can you make me feel like this!?’ She wanted to ask him, but bit her lips to stop the question from spilling out.

“One day, I will see you cry,” Leyla told him, the crying finally coming to a stop once she calmed down, “One day, I will give you a taste of your own medicine.” 

She promised him.
Matthias only chuckled at her.

“I’ll look forward to it.” He whispered, before kissing her on the lips. 

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Matthias used to think he was the one holding all the cards in their relationship.
But maybe that wasn’t always true.
Maybe, the cards had always been with Leyla, she just didn’t realize it. 

Soon Leyla’s vision turned dark, the dreamscapes finally claiming her from her current reality.
The next time she opened her eyes, dawn was breaking out of the sky. 

She thought she was going to be alone, yet to her surprise, Matthias was still beside her, sitting up on her bed, leaning against her head board, and looking down at her with a contemplative look in his eyes. 

Regaining her strength from her night’s rest, she shot him a glare.

“Why are you still here?” She asked him, “Shouldn’t you leave by now?”

Matthias nodded at her, giving her no verbal answer before he just stood up, having long been dressed.
He was only waiting for her to wake up. 

Leyla watched him through lidded eyes, settling snuggly back into her bed.
She watched as Matthias grabbed his discarded coat, putting it on, and turned back to look at her.
Feeling conscious, she sat up and pulled the blanket around her, all the way up to her shoulders.

She waited for him to say something, not knowing Matthias was expecting the same from her too.
The sun gently rose as they stayed in their positions, doing nothing but watch the other. 

Sunlight crept into the windows, slowly revealing the vibrant colors of the world around them, signaling the both of them that it was time to say goodbye.
She watched the vibrant blue in his eyes, reflecting the awakening blue skies outside.

Yet during the night, they reflected back dark pools like the night sky, echoing the deep sadness and hurt inside her.

Matthias walked towards her, dipping down to plant a kiss on her cheeks, before straightening up once more.
He swiftly turned on his heels, and walked out in no particular hurry. 

Leyla listened to his fading footsteps, until only silence remained with her. 

Just her, and her tumultuous thoughts.

She clutched her nearby pillow to her chest, pulling it flush against her torso, before she plopped limply back onto the bed, curling into a fetal position.
She burrowed into the pillow, trying to suffocate the sadness out of her to no avail, sending her off to another round of a listless sleep.

On and on it went during the rest of her morning. 

Her eyes would flutter open to see morning light, before shutting back into darkness.

 

Open… close… open… close…open… close… open…

She awoke for the final time that morning, breathing out a resigned sigh before sitting up.
She stretched her arms overhead, feeling her bones crack as she loosened up the kinks in her muscles from last night’s strenuous activity. 

Sluggishly, she went to a bath, sinking into the warm water as she scrubbed away the traces he left on her body until the water remained clear.
Once the water was drained, she remained in the tub, burying her face into her knees, hugging them close to her chest.

She breathed in the steam wafting all over her, wrapping her in fading warmth.
Once the heat had all but disappeared, she finally moved out of her daze, intent to finally get dressed when a firm knocking echoed into her almost empty house, followed by a familiar voice, bellowing out her name.

It made Leyla freeze in place.

“Miss Lewellin!”

It was Mary, Claudine’s maid.