Cry, Even Better if you Beg

Several days have passed since that night, and soon it faded as though it all had been just a dream.
A peaceful dream in an unfamiliar way.
She still couldn’t believe it happened.

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In the time that passed, Marquis Lindman had finally returned to his estate, and the Duke no longer sent her letters demanding her, or gave her unexpected visits.
Soon autumn left, and winter had taken its first step upon its month-long journey, bringing with it a new season.
Leyla opened up her window, breathing in the cold chill in the air, loving the smell winter brought. 

She quite enjoyed the breeze, senses numbed to the cold for a while, as she appreciated the way the sun would hit the snow, making it glint as though the forest was made of diamonds.

She kept the window wide open, until the cold began biting at her fingertips.
With one last deep breath, she shut it closed and turned around to get ready for the day.

Today was the day of the charity performance prepared by the school children at the town hall in downtown, so her preparation before going to work took a little longer than usual.
Shosted royalty and the children were the ones going on stage, which meant she couldn’t wear the usual clothes she would. 

This year’s performance was being held in a reputable venue.
It hosted many events which prominent figures and powerful people had attended regularly.
She needed to look her best for the school and her students.

‘You have to present yourself as a dignified teacher.
Okay, Miss Lewellin?’

Even the Principal knew she needed to improve her wardrobe.
She even added in a few more remarks about her image during yesterday’s meeting, especially about hoping to avoid seeing Leyla ride her bike to the town hall.

Leyla couldn’t help but frown at the thought, hands busying themselves as she braided her hair into an updo style.
“What’s wrong with riding my bike?” she muttered under her breath. 

She finished rather quickly with her hair.  She was rather thankful for her newly gained experience in that department by the way, seeing as she had to do so multiple times throughout the semester. 

‘That hair, it doesn’t suit you.’

 

Ah, just when she thought he wouldn’t find a way to disturb her.
But it seemed even in her thoughts she couldn’t escape him.
Those had been the words the Duke gave her by the platanus road during the early autumn season.

The autumn sun had just filtered through her room, hitting the mirror and rebounding in an angle that hit her hair.
She had flinched at his sudden reflection of appearance on the mirror, having felt he was watching her.
Leyla quickly turned her gaze away, just like how she avoided his eyes back then too.

‘It’s beautiful, your hair.
It’s like a wing.’

And suddenly, a dam broke in her mind as one after another she recalled every compliment he had ever given her.
It flustered her more than the insults he sent her way.
Especially when he’d look at her with those cold, indifferent eyes.

She resumed brushing her hair, checking her side profiles before deeming herself well and ready for the day.
It was fortunate that unlike her memories of their latest night together, the bruises on her shoulder had begun to fade.

He had been true to his word that night after all.

True enough, she had been terrified out of her wits when he carted her off to his room.
The tension between them in the beginning had been so thick, you could have cut it with a knife.
But that soon diminished with each kiss he planted on her bruises.

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He let her be, and treated her carefully, as though he didn’t mind the struggling and thrashing she made moments before.
His gentle touch trailed along her injuries, rubbing the soothing salve to numb the pain before wrapping bandages protectively around them.

His movements were so calm, and skillful, it rivalled that of a doctor’s.
Not to mention his azure eyes resolutely trained on her, even as she sluggishly put her clothes back on…

In the corner of her eyes, she spotted a clock, making her gasp at the time.
Immediately, Leyla rose from her seat and rechecked herself on the mirror one last time, before flitting around the room for some last minute preparations. 

The dress she wore was brand new, which she bought with her own money just for today’s event.
She dashed around, looking for a good pair of shoes, before snatching up some high heels.
Leyla could already imagine her feet throbbing with pain by the end of the day, but she would need to endure it.
Satisfied with her final look, she finally went out of her room.

“Ah, you’re so pretty Leyla!” Uncle Bill greeted her with awe as he regarded his niece.
He had just come out of the kitchen, making some breakfast.
“You’ll be the prettiest one tonight at the town hall!” he praised.
Leyla only giggled disbelievingly before responding.

“There’ll be plenty others who’ll dress better than I,” she pointed out, “There will be tons of young ladies and madams attending the event.”

“Ah, but what have they got against you?” her uncle pointed out, “Neither their silver nor gold on their skin could make them hold a candle to you!”

Leyla rolled her eyes. “Perhaps not in my uncle’s eyes.” she hummed, a fond smile creeping up the corner of her lips as she sat across from him.

 

“Oh, yes, I just remembered,” Bill said before gesturing to his neck, “The necklace you have, why don’t you wear it as well?” he suggested, taking a bite out of his breakfast.
Leyla’s brows furrowed in confusion before widening upon remembering.

“Ah! You mean the necklace you bought for me?”

“Yes! The one you wore for the Duke’s party last year.” he swallowed, before cutting up more of his food, “I think it would perfectly complement your outfit today.
You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to, but I’m certain what a sight it will be!”

Bill Remmer might know nothing when it comes to women’s fashion, he was certain indeed that no one could hold a candle to his niece’s beauty.
Just remembering the way Leyla stood out at the Duke’s party was enough to make him so proud that even just for that one night, he could turn Leyla into a beautiful princess.

Leyla smiled and nodded, seeing the smile in her uncle’s eyes as he suggested it.
She got up from her seat and went back to her room, searching for where she had kept the necklace in.
She reached deep inside her closet, before she found it. 

She straightened up, and clasped the necklace around her bare neck.
Deeming it secure and worn well, she went back out and stood in front of her uncle, arms tucked behind her, as she puffed out her chest to showcase the necklace more.

“So, how do I look?” she asked him demurely, and Bill cheered jovially at seeing Leyla wearing the necklace once more.

“Ah! Absolute perfection, my dear.” he praised before clasping warm, gentle hands on her shoulder, before giving her a brief hug.
He pulled away and looked at her, eyes wrinkled with a smile, before looking at her with a slight concern… 

“Now you be careful out there Leyla, don’t stray too far,” Bill warned her softly, “You’ll catch a lot of attention because of how you look, but be wary of them too, or they might just take you away for themselves.” he finished, and Leyla nodded in agreement.

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“I will uncle, don’t worry.” she promised.

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

She was like a dot from a far, hardly recognizable at such a distance, but Matthias could spot her even from a mile away, a slight curve up the corner of his mouth began to appear.

He knew it was Leyla, the woman who was walking along the path  through the hunting grounds, all the way towards the rose garden behind the mansion.
He tilted his head at the sight of her, his brows furrowing in wonder…

‘Why is she walking to work today?’

Matthias let out a low whistle, moving closer towards the window, and outstretched his hand, index finger popping up in wait.
Not a moment sooner a little bird fluttered to land on it.

He brought the bird up close to his eye level, using the sight of Leyla drawing near as a backdrop to it.
He leaned against his window sill by the damask curtains that hung from the ceiling down to the floor.
It swayed with the wind, framing him perfectly from behind, and hiding him from any passerby.

He shifted his arm, as if to present his canary to the unsuspecting woman, but the bird had fluttered away, and right back into its cage.
The introduction to his two birds were unsuccessful, but that didn’t mean it was entirely a waste.
And so Matthias stayed by the window, even long after Leyla had disappeared from his sight.

It had become some sort of routine of his, to perch by the windowsill every morning for the view it offered, day after day.
And all the while, he’d only look, waiting for the moment she would leave the quaint gardener’s cabin, and into the path through the forest just to go to work.

At this spot in his mansion, he could always see her, and what she would do whenever she’d go home.

‘Is she all better now?’

He couldn’t help but think as he recalled how frail she looked the last time he saw her so close.
She had been all bruised up and in pain.
Her quivering body as she sobbed desperately at him…

Those flushed, tear-stained cheeks, and glistening emerald eyes.
He could just lose himself at the sight of her.

It was a shame he hadn’t had the fortune of running into her, or see her since then.
He could have gone to see her, much like he did before, but this time he chose not to.
There had been some strange stirrings in him, that night, feelings he couldn’t put a finger on.

Matthias pushed himself away from the window, and settled down onto the wingback chair near the fireplace in deep thought.
Absent-mindedly, he reached out towards the morning paper and flipped it open, but his eyes unseeing the words printed on it.

His mind kept returning to those tears she shed that last night.
He’s seen her cry countless times now, but there had been something different about the way she did last.
It was imprinted in his mind by now, and he couldn’t escape it…

‘Wait,’

Matthias recalled him saying, as he prevented her from leaving right after he managed to bandage her, and handed over some medicine.

‘These are painkillers, drink them sparingly.’  

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Leyla’s face, at that moment, grew contemplative as she eyed the bottle, still in his outstretched hand, warily.
Impatiently, he opened the lid as he neared her.
She flinched under his touch when he had suddenly grabbed her by the chin, gently prying her mouth open to pour the liquid medicine down her throat.

She took it like a veteran, eyes trailed at him in an indecipherable manner, gulping the medicine down as best as she could despite the bitter flavour.
Matthias smirked as he watched her struggle. 

Once he was satisfied by her medicine intake, he gently wiped the excess medicine that dripped down the corner of her lips with the returned handkerchief.
Once she had been wiped clean, he took out a piece of candy in his pocket, and popped it in her mouth.

Leyla had blinked back tears as he continued to shower her with his care, unable to make a sound.
The tears flowed down her cheeks once more, as she kept the candy inside her mouth, neither spitting or making an effort to swallow it.

Finally, he had been unable to hold back, and began to caress  her cheeks, not minding the way it soaked his hand.
His movements were stiff, and unpracticed, but he kept going.

‘Does it still hurt?’

He couldn’t help but inquire.
He’d never felt so useless before, so helpless, when he’d asked her that.
Leyla nodded back in reply not a moment soon.
Unable to do anything else, Matthias gathered her up in his arms once more, and held her in comfort.

She tried to resist him at first, but eventually gave in.
She continued to tear up in his arms, tongue rolling the candy around in her mouth for quite a long time.
By the time she stopped crying, the front side of his sweater was completely soaked with tears.

Even the memory of it brought a certain sorrow to Matthias.
He let out a sigh, and set aside the paper he hadn’t bothered to read.
He leaned his head back, until all he could see was the ceiling.

He really can’t get that image of her out of his mind.
Normally when Leyla would cry, all he could feel was amusement.
He liked seeing a pretty face cry, so he’d relentlessly bully her.
Though there were times, too, when it bothered him to see them.

It made him irritant that anything, or anyone, other than him had made her cry.
During those times, he would wish them to stop.
No one else but him should make her cry.
And not even just her tears…

Her smiles, her laughter, hopes and dreams… everything! Everything she has must be his!

She must be his.

The tears she kept crying back then made him feel as though he’d lost, and he was at a loss at how to turn his defeat into a victory…

Such strange tears indeed. 

Whenever Leyla would cry, she had the tendency to let her temper get the best of her.
Sometimes she’d feel afraid, or even terrified.
And he would enjoy every emotion he’d managed to get a rise out of her.

But she didn’t even seem to understand why she was crying at that moment.
They were not filled with any anger, not even fear of him.
They looked like something foreign…

Almost as though her eyes were empty.
And he found out at that moment he hated those tears very much.
He wanted to stop them.
It raised in him a feeling he hadn’t felt when he watched Leyla cry over Kyle Etman…

Made him want to strangle her just so she would stop crying.

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Such an odd, uncomfortable feeling indeed festered inside him, but Matthias did not mind it.
It was reminiscent of the feeling of getting drunk with a fragrant liquor against his nose.
However, it also made him feel as though something was closing in on him.

It confused and gratified him immensely.

Yes… it made him quite… happy.

He felt unbridled happiness, completely different from the enjoyment he used to feel whenever he tormented Leyla.
He hadn’t tossed her aside because he wanted to feel more from her.
To know this joy, and to experience it to the fullest capacity!

Leyla had entrusted herself to him.
He remembered it, the resignation on her face as he gazed at her exhausted form while he kept comfort. 

And so he kept wiping the tears away, sweeping her hair back to see her more clearly in the dim lighting.
He watched as the slight hope in her eyes turned into unbridled fear, making her entire body tremble in his touch.

He waited a long time for her to be at ease, to trust him once more, because whatever joy he felt before was swiftly snuffed out of his system.
He wanted it back! But how would he get it once more? The answer was the same.

It’s always been the same.

A sudden knock disturbed him from his thoughts, making him frown at his broken trail of thoughts.
He’d just been onto something important, a little more time and he would have found some resolution.
But life has a way of making important things slip through you, much like holding sand in the palm of your hands.

“Master, this is Hessen.” a muffled voice came from behind the door.

“Come in.” Matthias calmly answered, his eyes no longer trailed on the ceiling as he straightened up in his seat.
He watched as Hessen opened the door, approaching swiftly and stopping by the side of his seat at a respectable distance.
Hessen stood at attention, before dipping his head in a bow.

“Madam Elysee had asked about the master’s dinner schedule today.” 

Matthias’ brow quirked up at the news.
“My mother?” he asked.

“Yes,” Hessen confirmed, “Initially she had planned to attend a charity performance with Madam Norma tonight at the town hall, but she’s fallen ill with fever so she won’t be able to go out.” he explained to his master.
“So, she wondered if you could go in her place, instead, in accompanying Madam Norma.
That is, if you have no prior engagements.”

“A charity performance you say?” Matthias hummed, as he tapped his fingers on the armrest.

“It’s a performance held by several schools here in Carlsbar,” Hessen hastily informed, “Even children from this village would be taking part.”

“Ah.” he said, smirking to himself. 

Now he knew why Leyla had walked herself to work today, all dolled up more than she usually does on a normal work day.

“It would be my pleasure to escort my grandmother tonight.” Matthias responded as he got up from his seat, “Well then, we best get prepared properly for the charity event.”