Cultivation Chat Group

Chapter 1: Mt.
Yellow’s True Monarch and Nine Provinces (1) Group

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20th May 2019, Monday.

 

At the end of spring and summer’s arrival.

 

This season, the temperature difference between the Jiang Nan region’s day and night was huge.
During the day, even if one was wearing shorts he could heat up like a hot dog; yet during the night he had to curl up on his bed, freezing like a cold bird.

 

Jiang Nan University City.

 

2.30PM in the afternoon was exactly the time students started classes.
Yet Song Shuhang stayed in his dormitory alone, his computer desk pulled to his bedside, making it convenient for him to watch movies in any posture.

 

Song Shuhang did not have a habit of skipping classes.
For the earlier half of last night, the weather was hot and stuffy, so in his dreams he executed a move called ‘Twin Dragon Emerging From The Seas’ and knocked over his blanket.

 

During the later half of the night, the air temperature dramatically decreased.
With only a pair of shorts on his body, Song Shuhang was forced into bitter hardship.
While slumbering away, both his hands strenuously groped the bed, seeking all over, yet he couldn’t find the blanket.
In the end he could only curl up like a mantis shrimp, shivering in the tyrannical cold of midnight.

 

When the sun rose, Song Shuhang had already become a member of the great seasonal catching cold army.

 

His roommate had already helped him apply for time off for today’s classes.

 

Afterwards, he took cold medicine and slept till now.

 

The high fever was suppressed, but his body was still weak.
In this condition there was no way he could attend classes.
Therefore, he could only stay in the dormitory bored and lonely, and watch movies.

 

On the monitor, the movie’s playback bar slowly trickled towards the end, but Song Shuhang was not absorbed into its contents at all.

 

“Has the medicine’s effects still not worn off? I’m so sleepy.” Song Shuhang yawned, he felt his eyelids getting heavy.

 

‘Di di di~’ Suddenly, at the bottom right of the computer screen, the chat application’s icon jumped.

 

This meant that someone added him as a friend, or invited him to join a chat group.

 

“Who added me?” Song Shuhang mumbled, he extended his hand and gently tapped on the bottom right of the computer’s touchscreen, prompting the notification to appear.

 

[Mt.
Yellow’s True Monarch(＊＊＊＊＊＊) has requested to add you as a friend.] Additional Information: None.

 

Yellow Mountain’s True Monarch? Just who would use such an odd nickname?

 

“Is he a student from my class?” Song Shuhang wondered silently.
He couldn’t help but think of the others in his class who clearly were already in university yet were still full of youthful delusions.
If it were them, they would definitely pick an odd nickname like this.

 

Once he thought this way, he tapped on ‘Accept’.

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Immediately, what followed was another system notification popping up.

 

[Mt.
Yellow’s True Monarch has invited you to join the chat group ‘Nine Provinces (1) Group’, Do You Accept?]

 

Song Shuhang proceeded to tap on ‘Accept’.

 

‘Mt.
Books’ Huge Pressure’ has accepted to join ‘Nine Provinces (1) Group’.

 

[You have agreed to join the group.
Please make an introduction of yourself to the other members!] There was even a smiley sent by the system.

 

In recent years, these chatting softwares had been becoming more and more human-like.

 

After the chain of notifications popped up, Song Shuhang resolutely closed the notification and the group chat’s window.
He was now filled with sleepiness, where would he get the energy to care about the group he joined?

 

Anyways, his group chat settings had always been ‘Do not notify new posts, only show numbers unread’, messages by the group wouldn’t pop-up and disturb him, it would only show the total number of new messages in the background.

 

After he wakes up, he could flip open the chat record, then he would know what kind of group he joined, and the chat record would also not be lost.

 

His eyelids got heavier and heavier……

 

The movie’s playback bar continued to move forward tenaciously, but Song Shuhang’s consciousness got more and more fuzzy.

 

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

 

In Nine Provinces (1) Group, lurkers emerged as soon as they noticed the new member’s entry.

 

North River’s Loose Practitioner: “Has the new member that Mt.
Yellow’s True Monarch invited come in yet? It has already been a year since a new member joined right?”

 

Another ID, ‘Su Clan’s Ah Qi’ speedily replied, “There’s a new fellow daoist? Which region of Huaxia is this fellow daoist from? Which cave does fellow daoist cultivate in? What’s fellow daoist’s Dao name? What level of cultivation is fellow daoist at?”

(TL: Huaxia is the archaic name for China)

 

This chain of questions, why did they seem somewhat strange?

 

At approximately the same time, a new message came from the ID Mad Saber Three Waves, “What is the new fellow daoist’s gender? Are you a fairy or no? If you are, input your three sizes, and post a photo!”

 

Seeing the new messages by Su Clan’s Ah Qi and Mad Saber Three Waves, quite a number of other members’ mouths twitched.

 

“Brother Three Waves, is your zodiac indeed a goldfish?” North River’s Loose Practitioner sighed, “You better not invite death by recklessness again.
What if Mt.
Yellow’s True Monarch once again invited some big time senior in?”

 

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Everything was good about Three Waves, he’s friendly, loyal, and loves helping others, so his relationship with others was pretty good.
The only problem is he liked to speak pervertedly, in a way that invites death.

 

It turns out that this fella’s luck was so low that it gives people goosebumps, he always couldn’t help but invite death from recklessness, and the ones he offended were always big time seniors.
Since those big time seniors were usually bored without any source of entertainment, they were naturally very happy to torture Mad Saber Three Waves who personified entertainment delivered to their front doors..

 

“I kneel and beg you not to mention the words “big time seniors”, they are a dark shadow in this majesty’s heart.” Mad Saber Three Waves sent a line of “crying face” emojis.

(TL: Mad Saber Three Waves called himself “本座” but there’s no English term for this so I translated it as “this majesty” if you have a better term to suggest do let me know!)

 

Four years ago this crappy mouth of his offended a beautiful ‘big time senior’, and was miserably tortured…… That big time senior continuously tortured him for an entire year and four months.
You didn’t hear wrongly, a whole year and four months! When he thought of that tumultuous and inhuman times, his eyes turned moist.

 

Immediately after Three Waves spoke, emojis of naughty smiles popped up one after another in the group, they were not even trying to conceal how much they were enjoying his misery.

 

The group channel showed that among the last eight people who sent messages, 6 of them neatly sent a string of smiling emojis.

 

“You bunch of people who take joy in others’ calamity, this majesty will remember each and every one of you.
Do not let this majesty meet you, otherwise this majesty will definitely let you people taste the strength of my 72 Paths of Rapid Saber!” Mad Saber Three Waves angrily said.
He was very confident in his Rapid Saber.
Among the 6 people who were leaving naughty smiles, none of the