I and My Husband Sleep in a Coffin

Underground

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Wang Xiao Mie stood at the entrance of one of the halls with his sleeves rolled up.
He looked at the mound of gold flowing past the door not with joy but annoyance.

With utmost seriousness, he began dog-paddling through them.

All the gems and gold were brushed aside.
What he needed now were weapons!

“Xiao Wenzi, come help me quickly!”

Wen Feng Jin came along and saw his sweet little dumpling jutting out his butt and digging into the ‘soil’.
The corner of his mouth hooked, “Xiao Mie, don’t lift your butt so high.”

Wang Xiao Mie turned and glared at him with black lines coming down his face: “Stop being a hooligan.
Come and help me.
Which big boss in the movies doesn’t carry a weapon? Our tomb is going to be dug up in two days and yet you’re being too carefree.”

“You and I cannot leave the tomb palace, so the only thing we can do is stay here and wait.” Wen Feng Jin said so but he still lifted his sleeves and joined the search.

“But we have to at least be prepared.
What if you can’t beat them?”

“Then there’s still Shixiong you.” Wen Feng Jin said with a smile.

“How can I be of service? Do you want me to dial the cops or call the ambulance?” Wang Xiao Mie continued to bury his head into the treasure heap.
His eyes suddenly lit up as he pulled out a little undershirt made of gold thread???

“What the hell is this?! You even collect people’s undergarment? This is insane! Did you strip the person of his clothes to get this just because it’s made of gold?!”

Wen Feng Jin stayed silent for a while before saying: “Xiao Mie, that’s a golden light armor.”

Wang Xiao Mie: “…..”

Gold… golden armor? The super incredible armor that can withstand bullets and knives? He folded the vest and added it to his pouch.

Ke, keke, I’m keeping it.

A somewhat embarrassed Wang Xiao Mie continued dog-paddling through the treasures.
“Ai ya, so many good items and weapons, why didn’t you keep them separately in a different hall? Now they’re lumped together with ordinary jewelry and we have to scour through them.”

Wen Feng Jin pinched his forehead and sighed: “Xiao Mie…”

“Ah?” Wang Xiao Mie looked at him with wet puppy eyes.

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“Did you forget that you were the one who used the weapon display as a clothes hanger? You also changed the weapon storeroom into the clothes drying room.” Wen Feng Jin lowered his head and looked at him, “Those weapons were thrown here by MuYi at your request…”

“…..”

Wang Xiao Mie remembered his past behavior with little remorse.
He looked at Wen Feng Jin with a grin.

“I did that! So what? Are you gonna get fierce with me?! Wan Wan Wan!!!” He was unrepentant with an arrogant and ferocious attitude that made even the big Boss Wen itch.

Wen Feng Jin: “…..” My family’s little dumpling likes to make dog’s sounds, what should I do? It’s actually quite cute, can I do him? After doing it will he get better?

Facing the fuming and ‘cute to the point I want to have *cough*’ Wang Xiao Mie, Boss Wen decided to bow down to him and quietly accompany him to scavenge.

After a few minutes of metal crashing sounds, someone asked a question: “My Liao Yue sword…”

“Why are you so petty! I will dig it up for you in a moment! Hmph!” 

“…..”

Even with the additional help of Mu Yi, they toiled away the whole day before finally assembling back all the precious weapons into the weapon storeroom.

Sitting on the smooth stone floor, Wang Xiao Mie was exhausted to the point that he simply laid on the ground.
Wen Feng Jin was leaning against a pillar with droopy eyes, clearly, he had also used up quite an amount of effort.

As for the poor Mu Yi, he did not even have the strength to latch himself on the wall.
The big lizard fell to the ground with his tongue sticking out.
Without his heavy breathing, Wang Xiao Mie would’ve thought the thing had killed itself.

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After taking a break, Wang Xiao Mie sat up and looked wearingly at Wen Feng Jin: “That should be all of them, right…”

Wen Feng Jin nodded: “Most of it.
There are probably several buried further down but these should enough….Xiao Mie, I said you don’t have to worry about anything, I’ll think of a way to deal with those graverobbers.”

“I know, I know.” Wang Xiao Mie put his hand on Mu Yi’s grotesque head and patted it like a dog.
The hideous Mu Yi was trying to act cute by whining coquettishly.
“I just want to cover all my grounds.
It’s better if I don’t know when they are coming.
Now that I know, every day feels like a countdown to my end.
And I keep having a very bad premonition…”

As the day approached, the unrest in his heart was getting stronger.

Wen Feng Jin’s eyes stayed on him: “Xiao Mie…”

Wang Xiao Mie interrupted his words and said with a smile: “I get it.
I don’t doubt what you’re going to do or that you can’t handle this.
I’m just worried about the man Zhen Bei mentioned.
A person who’s able to say that he wants to eat your heart must have something to back his words.”

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He had a nightmare the previous night.
He dreamt that Wen Feng Jin was captured and had his heart ripped off.
The bloody scene shocked him awake.
His hands kept shaking for a long time until he felt the familiar embrace, only then did he calm down.

Wen Feng Jin came up to him and knelt down on one knee.
He placed his palm on Wang Xiao Mie’s cheek and gently rubbed the corner of his eye.

“Don’t worry about me, I don’t age or die, no matter what, I will live.”

Wang Xiao Mie dropped his head, “Even if you’re immortal, doesn’t mean you don’t have a weakness.
Can your heart grow back after being torn off?”

Wen Feng Jin smiled.
When his large black pupils fully reflected the face of his beloved, he said: “I’m a little happy.”

“Happy with what? That someone else wants your heart?” Wang Xiao Mie looked up and stared at him.

Wen Feng Jin laughed softly, “I’m happy that you care about me and worried for my sake.”

After doing the things that I did, I dared not dream that you would once again give me this warmth.

“With this, I’m more determined not to let them have the upper hand.” Wen Feng Jin gently took Wang Xiao Mie into his arms.
Feeling the strong embrace and reciprocation of emotions from Wang Xiao Mie, he sighed with bliss.

His eyes closed and his smile deepened.

Finally…..
finally, there comes a day that my wish is fulfilled…

No one can stop me from being with you.
Whoever dares get in our way, I will give him a life worse than death!

…..

The Zhen House

In the age-old solemn mansion, several individuals with diverse characteristics sat in groups at the reception hall.
They carried themselves with grace and politeness but none would give anyone else a second glance.

On the patriarch seat were the Zhen family head and his wife.
On his left were Zhen Hao and the masked man, on his right were Zhen Mu and Zhen Bei.

(TN: I forgot to talk about the three brother’s names.
Zhen Bei, as mentioned, sounds like the word bad luck.
Zhen Mu (木=wood) refers to someone who’s dense, quite alike his personality.
And Zhen Hao, which sounds like 真好, meaning great or wonderful.)

“Everyone here is an expert in the same circle.
Your presence gives us great honor and we’ll never forget this debt.
And you, Mr.
Yan, my son Zhen Hao had mentioned you many times to me.”

The Zhen patriarch looked at the man next to Zhen Hao.
He showed no expression and only nodded slightly.

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He was told that the man received a fatal wound a long time ago and now was not able to show any expression on his face.
Thus, he dismissed his discourtesy and continued his speech.

The other tomb robbers were still very respectful towards their big sponsor and listened quietly.
A brazen woman who brought along a young man of twenty-something glanced at Zhen Mu with a smile.

Zhen Mu titled his head in avoidance when he felt the laser-beam eyes aiming at him. 

The woman snickered and began to fiddle with her fingers in boredom.
The young lad behind her stared at his mentor with a helpless sigh.

As the meeting was about to end, Madame Zhen who had been quiet suddenly spoke with some sadness in her tone: “Zhen Mu, Zhen Bei.”

Zhen Mu and Zhen Bei looked at her.

Madame Zhen said: “I can’t stop your brother from wanting to go underground.
I have no idea why he insisted on going to such a dangerous place but Zhen Mu, you’re used to that kind of job, make sure to take care of him when you’re there, do you hear me?”

Zhen Mu lowered his eyes.
Under the fiery visage was actually a calm and gentle soul.
Even under his mother’s obviously biased instructions, he still nodded with grace.

Seeing that Zhen Mu had agreed, Madame Zhen smiled with satisfaction.
She had absolute trust in the second son’s abilities.

“And Zhen Bei.” When she saw Zhen Bei’s simpleton smile, she frowned and reproached him: “Look at your silly appearance! You’re so old and still had to rely on your big brother! Don’t give your big brother any trouble when you’re in the tomb, got it?”

Zhen Bei shrunk back and Zhen Mu was a little upset.
In a rare occurrence, he spoke against her: “Mother, Zhen Bei is not stupid.
He’s been a sincere child since birth, don’t keep reprimanding him.”

“You!”

“Alright! Alright!” The Zhen patriarch interrupted his wife who was fuming, “We’re talking about serious business here! You’re getting off-topic and making the guests look at us as a joke!”

Madame Zhen snorted and turned her head.
Zhen Hao then comforted his mother by saying: “Mother, I know you’re worried about us but father is right.
I’ll accompany you for a while before I leave.”

Madame Zhen smiled again and the Zhen patriarch eased up after hearing his favorite son’s words.
He exchanged a few pleasantries before leading his wife away.

The man with the facial paralysis known as Mr.
Yan gestured to everyone to gather around him.
He and Zhen Hao then relayed the plan to them, assigned tasks, and what to prepare when they go underground.

The group hurdled and discussed, deliberately disregarding Zhen Bei and Zhen Mu.

Zhen Bei twitched his brows and whispered to Zhen Mu: “Second brother, don’t you think that Zhen Hao is quite unwise? Although all these people are skillful, they’re not affiliated with us.
And with Zhen Hao isolating us on purpose, if that jerkface Yan betrayed him, the three of us are done for.”

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Zhen Mu eyed the contemptuous Zhen Hao smiling in the crowd.
When Zhen Hao saw him looking over, he smirked and looked back at them with disdain.

Zhen Mu drooped his eyes.
He patted the back of Zhen Bei’s head with his scarred hand.

“It’s ok, brother will protect you.
You’re my first priority.”

Zhen Bei flashed a brilliant smile and nodded with an oomph.

He looked at Zhen Hao and Zhen Hao mouthed the word “idiot” at him.

Zhen Bei kept smiling and scratched his head as if he was clueless while Zhen Hao laughed at himself for being bothered with a fool.

The time of departure was soon fixed and the supplies and equipment would be arriving right on schedule. 

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Back underground

Wen Feng Jin was leaning against the sacred tree with his arms folded.
He smiled sweetly at Wang Xiao Mie who was playing with a short and sharp dagger.

“Xiao Mie, compared to this dagger, I think you should use the other one.” Said Wen Feng Jin.

Wang Xiao Mie looked at the dagger in his hand that shined like snow and the black and rusty one on the ground, “No matter how you look at it, this one has got to be more powerful!”

“The grade of a blade is not determined by how shiny it is.
Only decorative blades are clean and shiny, this is called ‘zei guan’.
The truth is, real weapons are heavy and strong which sometimes makes them seem dull but they have incredible cutting prowess and only after being used for a long time will their ‘bao guan’ appear.
The only exception is the sword.”

(TN: zei guan 贼光, direct translation is probably trick light, it usually used in ceramics and refers to a piece that is more modern and its shine is different from those of aged ones which tend to have bao guan 宝光, meaning a precious shine.
I’m not fully knowledgeable with this aspect so please correct me if I’m wrong)

“Oh, I see.” The illiterate Wang Xiao Mie looked at the dagger imbued with jewels and the word gaudy flashed all over it.

He then picked up the black and rusted dagger on the ground and continued slashing at thin air with it.
Like a puppy baring its fangs, he practiced as if he was ready to go all out against the group of intruders!

Wen Feng Jin slowly raised his hand and covered his giggling mouth. 

Nai xiong, nai xiong, Shixiong…. 

(TN: Nai xiong is describing something small and cute, like a baby animal, trying to act tough which rhymes with Shixiong.
I don’t know how to translate this sentence to make it rhyme and sound cute as the author intended so I’m leaving it as it is)