I’ll Become a Villainess That Will Go Down in History

ith my damp cloak.

In almost no time at all my already dark cloak starts to become black with grime.
But even as I continue to gently scrub, the clumps of dirt don’t seem to want to come off.

……No, wait.
That’s not dirt….
It’s her skin! It’s black and festering.

In shock, my hands freeze.

“Alicia, are you okay?” Gilles asks, carefully examining my expression.
“This is normal here, you know.
And she’s not even that bad.
There are lots of people who are in worse condition than her,” he continues with a straight face while looking over at the woman.

“She’s likely a victim of arson.
She was probably left behind after her house was burned down,” Grandpa Will adds with a somber expression.

I…… I can’t save her.
Darkness magic isn’t capable of healing wounds.
All of its spells are so useless.

Not knowing what else to do, I slowly start to wipe down her body again.
I gently rub the skin on her face, neck, and arms.
And then I move to the exposed skin on her legs for a moment before I freeze in horror.

…..The area below her right knee is completely necrotized.
It was probably burned too severely in the fire; it’s completely dead.

To be honest, just looking at the blackened flesh is making me feel woozy.
This is the first time I’ve ever seen something like this.
What can I even do to help her?

I know that I need to calm down, but I can’t.
I’m panicking and I can’t think straight.

I thought I could help her…… I’m such a fool.
I’ve been thinking too highly of myself.

“Ali, are you okay? Is there anything that I can do?” Gilles asks looking at me in concern.

I can’t think.
I can’t think! I know I’m breathing too fast, but I can’t to stop it.

“Alicia, calm down.
Everything is fine.
Just focus on your breathing for a second.
Take in a slow, deep breath.”

I do as I’m told and very consciously take in a huge, deep breath.
As I do this, Grandpa Will pats me on the back.

I continue to just focus on my breathing for a few minutes, slowly getting myself back under control.

“Magic will be able to help.
No matter how meaningless a spell seems, it can be incredibly useful under the right circumstances.”

“I don’t know about that,” I say a bit huffily.

“Alicia, you’re extremely intelligent.
I know you’ll be able to help this woman.”

“Don’t say that! You have no way of knowing that!! Saving a life is too much for me.
It’s impossible!” I shriek.
I know I should be happy, hearing such encouraging words, but I can’t help it.
His words grate on me, shoving my powerlessness back in my face.

I’ve never encountered anything like this before.

I have no idea what to do.
What I even can do.
My mind is blank.
I’ve read so many books, learned so many things, and yet when I need that information most I can’t remember a single thing.

I have no ideas.

As I stand there, tears start to leak involuntarily from my eyes.

“Alicia…..” Gilles stares at me intently.

The tears continue to flow incessantly and I don’t have the willpower to stop them.
They stream down my cheeks faster and faster.

“Don’t you dare give up.”

Grandpa Will’s words resound throughout my head.