Nothing I Can Do

Weeks have passed and summer seems to be coming to an end. I want to talk to her. No…I need to talk to her.

I feel like Im drowning. Being sucked up into the depths of the sea. Its cold. Its heavy. I want out. Maybe shell help me…swim to the distant shore?

Charlie hasn bothered since that day…when my Father showed his anger. An anger so deep and pure…it scares me.

I flip through a book not really reading it. My eyes read the same passage over and over again many times before flipping to the next page.

My thoughts go over to that nice lady I saw that day. The one that would make straight girls gay and gay guys straight.

I mull over what I should I call her. Horder Lady? No, that wouldn be nice. Not after she took care of me like any real mother would. I felt my throat clench at that thought. I wonder what Mother is doing now?

I shake my head furiously. No. Don think of her. Shes why… I don finish that thought.

I go back to finding a nickname for the lady. Pickle Lady? Weird Lady? Giving Some Strange Kid Some Change Lady?

None of these seem to match her.

I thought about it some more and had just figured out what I thought was the best there came a knock on the door.

”Yes? ” I asked hesitantly.

The door opened to reveal, Manny, our butler and my Fathers right hand man.

Manny was youngish not my age but young. Although, He was tall he just wasn as tall as my Father and I. His brown hair slicked back with one strand of hair sticking out. And in a way that made him look like a gangster. With a butler suit that is. It didn help that his eyes were sharp to a point. But even by his appearance, he had a gentle soul. Unless provoked.

”Maam, ” His soft voice was so much warmer than Fathers. I nodded for him to continue.

”Well, the thing is, ” He paused. ”I know Mr. Grover isn allowing you to eat now, but I brought you some things to eat. ”

I raise my eyebrows in surprise. It isn often that Manny goes against Fathers wishes.

”S-sure, ”

Closing the door softly behind him. He gently smiles and comes further into the room carrying a tray. Placing the tray in front of me, he settles down across from me.

”Now eat up, Little Missy, ” Now that we
e alone and safe from prying ears, he can call me by affection nicknames.

”Won you get in trouble, Manny? ” I asked worried.

”Don worry about me, Little Missy, ” He said reassuringly. ”I can take your Fathers anger. ”

I lower my head with guilt.

”Now, now, don feel guilty, ” He gently grabbed my chin raising my head upward. ”Ill be fine, I promise. ”

Tears fall as I gaze into his gentle eyes. I hiccupped as the small tears turned into a full on sobbing.

”Manny…. you
e…. my only friend in this terrible home, ” I said through hiccups. He goes around the table and embraces me.

”I know….I know… ” His voice sounding close to crying.