Bamboo! Bamboo! Bamboo!

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 From the bamboo-infested zone, I heard someone’s voice.
 
 ”You, with such a monstrous thing! What are you doing to my bamboo!”
 
 I somehow went towards the voice and found a bamboo that was much thicker than the others.
Moreover, it was a shiny silver bamboo.
 
 ”Uhm, is this voice you?”
 ”Yes, it is! The one you heard is Me! Now answer! What is that thing that’s going “voom voom”!”
 
 The bamboo asked me.
Voom voom.
I think it’s talking about the magic chainsaw I have.
 
 ”This is my magic chainsaw.
I was actually thinking of cutting some bamboo.” [TL: He’s rather daring to say that]
 ”Whaat! I knew it! You were planning to take my bamboo!”
 ”Uhm, you’re right that I’m going to trim it, but I just want you to listen to me.”
 ”I won’t hear any excuses!”
 ”Go-!”
 ”Unii!”
 ”Koo~!”
 ”””””Mogu~!”””””
 

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 An anger-laden voice was heard from the silver bamboo.
The moment I thought that, the bamboo in the surroundings began moving, attacking by waving its branches like whips.
 Kani put up barriers for everyone, so we didn’t take any damage, but this was troubling.
 
 ”Stop it.
I want you to listen to what I’m saying.”
 ”Shut it! You scoundrels!”
 ”I understand how you feel, but this bamboo isn’t good for you if it stays like this, you know?”
 ”What brazen words!”
 
 If only you’d properly listen… However, from this state of things, I’m certain that this silver bamboo is the master of this bamboo.
 
 ”It’s important.
Recently, have you been feeling unwell?”
 ”Shut it! It’s true that I’ve been feeling tired lately, I’ve had stiff shoulders, shortness of breath, dizziness, etc., but that has nothing to do with you!”
 
 I was worried that it wouldn’t answer, but it told me surprisingly easily.
Is it an airhead? Well, it is bamboo.
[TL: The joke is, bamboo is hollow]
 Those symptoms are worse than what I thought they’d be.
Hmm, if that’s the case, it can’t be helped.
I’ll be a little forceful — I started up the magic chainsaw once more.
 On top of that, I gave instructions to everyone while dodging the bamboo’s attacks.
 
 ”Go-!”
 ”””””Mogu~!”””””
 ”Unii!”
 ”Kyupi~”

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 ”Koo~”
 
 I cut down more and more bamboo with the magic chainsaw.
I asked the moles to dig holes to make it easier to pull out the bamboo, then Kobelco pulled it out as instructed, and then Uni did the clean-up job.
 Keon was in charge of dealing with the grass on the ground.
Kani was helpful just putting up barriers.
 
 ”Nooooooo! What on earth are you people doing to meeeee!”
 
 I heard a scream from the silver bamboo.
It’s quite agitated.
 
 ”Listen to me.
This is—”
 ”Shut it! I will absolutely not tolerate this!”
 
 Oh, whatever.
Another bamboo attack.
However, if you look closely, this in itself isn’t that scary.
If it hits you, it might hurt, but Kani’s barrier is enough to block it.
 This might be a more powerful attack originally, but I don’t know.
But it’s difficult.
Seems I really need to sort things out properly.
 That’s why we just kept cutting out bamboo as we were doing, taking out so that the space was thinned out reasonably.
 
 ”U, uu, why.
My bamboo.
Why, why are you doing such a terrible thing to me~…”
 
 As we cut away the bamboo in this way, the silver bamboo eventually began complaining in a tearful voice.
 Wh-, what awfully strong feeling of guilt this is giving me.
However, maybe it’s easier to talk to than earlier when it attacked me in anger.
 

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 ”Bamboo-san.
Listen to me.
This was actually necessary.”
 ”What awful things are you saying! You’ve thoroughly defiled me!”
 
 It said even more harsh things! I, I kind of feel like I’m bullying a young child, partly because its voice is strangely high-pitched.
It’s actually really painful.
 
 ”Anyway, could you first tell me how you’re feeling? How’s it?”
 ”Of course I’m feeling terrible! I’m in a foul mood because of what you’ve done to me! What’s the matter with you? You’re a b*****d for asking me how I feel after what you’ve done to me! You fiend!”
 ”Unii~…”
 ”Koo~…”
 
 Uu, I’m being treated like a fiend.
Uni and Kani looked at me as if asking “Do we still continue?”.
Everyone else also momentarily stopped what they were doing.
 
 ”No, look, I’m not talking about feelings like that, I’m talking about your body.”
 ”What! You had your eye on my body!”
 
 A scandalous misunderstanding came out!
 
 ”You’re wrong! It’s not like that, I’m asking how your physical condition is.”
 ”Ngrh! You’re still saying that! That’s the worst, the, worst… huh?”
 
 The silver bamboo swayed side to side and also bent its joints.
This bamboo is a sensitive bamboo!

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 ”O-, oh! Ooooooooh! What’s this! What’s this! I don’t believe it! My body has recently been feeling a bit heavy, worrying “maybe I’m a bit plump?”, so I tried dieting, yet now I feel so light!”
 
 D-, diet? Can bamboo go on a diet?
 
 —Pop.
 
 ”This, what on earth is thiiiiiiis!”
 ”Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!?”
 ”Unii!”
 ”Koo~!?”
 ”Go-!?”
 ”Kyupi!?”
 ”Mogu~!”
 ”Mogu-!?”
 ”Mogyu-!?”
 ”Mogu moguu!”
 ”Mo~gu~!?”
 
 What! The silver bamboo opened with a pop, and a cute girl came from inside! This surprised everyone, including me! Wh- what on earth is going on!?