Chapter 76 – Go Away

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Muyeol put his hands over hers.
The warmth of his hands moved her, making her tear up.

No one had ever cared about her like this before.
She had always been alone, forced to stay strong and brave everything.

Muyeol gently pulled her to his chest and patted her back.
And all of sudden, her body absorbed all his warmth, almost as if it had been starving for it.

She had thought her temperature was normal, the usual 97.7° fahrenheit, but she was wrong.
It was Muyeol’s warmth seeping into her.

He hugged her until her temperature reached a normal level.
When she stopped breathing, Muyeol gently pushed her away.
“It stinks.
Keep some distance.”

“Huh? I stink?”

“Not you, I’m talking about myself.
I couldn’t take shower in the last three days,” he said as he stepped away from her.
He could only leave the room long enough to change his clothes, not wanting to leave Yiyoung’s side.

“Is… it okay if I laugh?” Yiyoung asked, absolutely entertained by the miraculous situation.

“Yeah…” Muyeol gave in.

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And she immediately burst out laughing.
All of this was so hard to believe.
Muyeol couldn’t stand not taking shower even for a day.
And that same person hadn’t taken a shower for the last three days? Yiyoung didn’t know why she found it so funny.

“Listen to what I say as you laugh, though,” Muyeol said.

Yiyoung continued chortling.
She glanced at Muyeol.
He looked like he’d just camped out in the wild, totally unlike his usual neat self.

Muyeol crossed his arms.
“Take a break from work for a year.”

“What?” The unexpected suggestion put an immediate end to Yiyoung’s laughter.

“I said, take a break.”

“Yeah, I am taking a break for three months.”

“No.
One year,” he insisted, “It’s time to stop.”

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Yiyoung stared at him blankly, recalling their last conversation about her work habits.
She couldn’t understand what he’d meant then, and she still could not.
“Why? This was just an accident.
I’m used to seeing patients injured in accidents all the time at the ER.
I simply ran out of luck this time.”

“You’re not that strong! It’s a miracle you’ve survived so far.”

 

“No.”

“Look back at your life.
Recall just how much you’ve struggled to live so far.
You don’t even know why you’re living! You have no purpose in life.
It’ll be good for you to find a way to live in peace, without struggling so much.”

“No. You’re wrong.”

“Stop now.
If you don’t, you’ll lose yourself.”

“You’re underestimating me.
Do I look that dumb to you?”

“You look like an idiot!” he said sharply.

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Yiyoung stared at him speechlessly, wondering why he thought so poorly of her.

“You need to learn how to live your life peacefully, without constantly pitting yourself against others,” Muyeol continued calmly, “You should listen to me.
If you don’t…”

He went on and on, but Yiyoung couldn’t hear him anymore.
Her eyes turned misty, unable to understand why Muyeol was being so stubborn.
In the end, she burst out, “I’m not weak, and I’m not an idiot! I’ve been living well on my own, even compared to my colleagues.
And that includes you, too.
You’re not better than me.”

Fat tears rolled down her face, surprising even herself.
As to why she was feeling so emotional, she had no clue.

She was a doctor at the ER.
Throughout her career, she had seen countless victims of traumatic accidents.
The only difference now was that she herself was the victim.
But people overcame the obstacles in their life, and Yiyoung knew she would as well.
And yet, she couldn’t stop crying.

 

“I’m sorry you had to do all this for me, but you don’t have the right to say such things to me.” Yiyoung wiped away her tears.
“What do you know about me? How much do you know? And what do you gain by talking so badly about me?”

Muyeol was taken aback.
He hadn’t expected Yiyoung to cry so much… He stood cluelessly for a moment before inching close to her bed.
“Okay…”

“‘Okay’ what? You idiot,” she snapped.

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“Let’s talk about this later.”

“Talk about what? I asked you, what do you gain by talking like this to me? Do you want to say mean things to me for simply no reason?” Muyeol’s words seemed like the harshest thing anyone had ever told her, reducing her to tears like a blubbering child, when she had never even cried like this during her childhood.

“You’re so mean.
You have such a wicked personality!” she lashed out.
She wanted to say harsh things to him, too.
She wanted to hurt him, too.
She couldn’t control herself, now feeling like she really was an idiot like he had said.

Muyeol frowned, now regretting saying all that while she was in the middle of her recovery despite knowing that she was still mentally fragile.
He was starting to think he had a wicked personality, too.

Yiyoung turned away from him, eyes lowered as she continued to weep.

Muyeol crouched, trying to meet her eyes.
“I’m sorry.”

It surprised her.
For as long as she had known Muyeol, she had never heard him apologize to anyone.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated.

He sounded nervous, and Yiyoung knew why.
It was probably his first time apologizing to someone.
But she didn’t want to forgive him yet.
Her voice cracked as she spoke, hoarse from crying so hard.
“Go away.”

“Sorry,” he tried again.
Yiyoung pretended not to hear him, but he didn’t give up.
“I wasn’t thinking when I said it.
I’m sorry.”