Nothing I Can Do

The sound of chalk hitting the chalkboard was the only sound that can be heard in the classroom along with occasional sound of flipping paper. It was exam day. Despite the humid air everyone was working hard as ever to advance into the next grade seeing as it will determine their future.

Once the exam was over everyone started to pack up and head home. I sighed. That was exhausting, I thought. I stretched my arms back to loosen my tensed muscles.

I got up and packed my things. I yawned as I put my pencils away. When I get home Im taking a nap, I thought. I got up and I went downstairs my locker to grab some things from my locker when I noticed the edge of an envelope sticking out of it. I paused. Theres no way someone couldve put it in my locker. Maybe they stuck it in the wrong locker, I mused. I opened my locker and an envelope fell out. I stooped down to pick it up and flipped it over. It read:

To Ash

I gulped. So it was for me. Maybe they meant a different Ash, I reasoned. After a moment of pause, I sighed. Who am I kidding? Im the only Ash in the school. I opened the envelope and after some hesitation, I took out the letter. I sped read through it. Slightly stumbling as I gripped the letter in my hand. The letter read:

My dearest Ash,

For a very long time I hid these feelings that I have for you. I decided I could no longer keep them from you. Please meet me behind the school so I can tell you properly.

It didn say who wrote it which made me nervous. If it had a name it would be easier for me to prepare myself for the inevitable. Then I realized that whoever wrote it must have put it in my locker this morning, but I was going to be late for class so I didn went. I checked the time and realised that I was standing there longer than I should have. I ran.

I was out of breath by the time I got to the back of the school. I was never much of an athlete. The letter didn have a specific place for me to go but I knew where this person wanted to meet.

There is an old willow tree at the back of the school. Rumors go around that if you confess to your crush under the tree then it might become true. I don know who started that rumor or why they did it. Maybe because the tree gave off an aura that was ancient and mysterious. Who knows the real reason?

I stopped in front of the tree and bended over as I try to gulp down some fresh air. After I got my breathing steady, I looked down to find I was still clutching the letter. Right, back to business. I looked around for any sign of the person who wrote it. My eyes flitting to and fro. I didn see anyone. I turned around to face the school to see if anyone was playing a prank on me.

I heard stirring behind me. I turned around and found a girl sitting under the tree staring at me. I don know why I didn see her at first. It was strange that I never saw her before. With golden brown hair and chocolate brown eyes anyone wouldve thought Wow… shes beautiful. Its certainly what I was thinking. I couldn describe her any other way for I was at a loss for words. She stood up, dusting off her skirt in the process.

”So, you
e here, ” She said. ”For a second there, I thought you weren going to show up. ”

She took a step closer. I gulped. I think she heard it because her lips curled into a smile. I saw how soft her lips were. Her smile got wider as she noticed where my eyes were. I forced myself to look away. She chuckled. It was such a nice laugh. Wait, what am I thinking!? She couldn possibly actually like me. Theres no way. Theres no way anyone would like me, I bitterly thought. Her beautiful, angelic, voice cut through my train of thoughts.

”I called you here to tell you my feelings but now that you
e here… ” She trailed off.

She seemed to be gathering her thoughts. There was a long pause afterward. With how silent it was everything was suddenly louder then it really was. I was wondering if I should break the silence when she spoke up.

”I-I love you! ” She blurted out.

It was so sudden and wait-did she just she loved me? I gasp. I was shocked. How could she possibly love me!? Her face was turning red from the sudden outburst.

”I-Im sorry, ” She stuttered ”I don want it to seem Im pushing my feelings onto you. ”

”No-no you
e not, ” I hurried to reassure her.

She stood there fidgeting. It was kinda cute the way she became a seductive fox and then turning into a shy bunny a second later.

”I don expect you to reply, but know this, ” She said. ” I WILL win your heart. ”

She ran off before I got the chance to reply. In a daze I left the school. I didn realize I was home until I stumbled through the door . I don even remembered how I got home. Then it all came buzzing back to me. I got asked out. I got asked OUT. I looked down to see my hands shaking. I clutch the front of my hoodie to steady them.

Im afraid. I am. Im afraid of letting people into my life only for them to leave. It hurts. It hurts so much. I stumbled to the head of the staircase, tripping on the first step, I landed hard. The urge to go to my room and curl up on my bed is so strong I can hardly breathe. It hurts to move. To breathe. Everything just hurts.

I steeled myself and with a shaky breath I climb up the stairs, slowly. I hissed as I went up and over a few steps.